Saturday, 21 April 2012

No Regrets

  Hey friends I am back, after a looooong hiatus. It's sunday today and I decided to pen down my thoughts after so much of thinking and yes their surely is something that instigated me to scribble. It's not that I did not have anything to write for so long but I simply did not feel passionate enough to write .So much happens in our daily lives, so much that it sometimes makes us happy or sad.Whenever something happens , we console ourselves by saying that 'whatever happens , happens for good ". I think when you are 'hit' at the right place that's when the words and feeling start flowing out. NO, not that I have been hurt by someone's words , frankly I am the last person to get affected by it all. I feel when you give too much of importance to someone , that's the time you make yourself vulnerable and are susceptible to all the nonsense.,

  I often think that ...why do we all repent , regret,sulk and brood so much over our past  or present doings. Few days back I read a quote that said, " never regret because at one point it was exactly what you wanted  in life ".I simply love this quote and it actually set my mind thinking. One really needs to make oneself stronger to lead a happy life. Life is harsh at times....but it's OK. Everything happens  for a reason. People change so that we can learn to let go, things go wrong so that we appreciate them when they are right, we believe lies so we eventually learn to trust no one but ourselves , and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. I have a close friend who despite all the usual problems in life, is ever smiling , full of energy and a big support. She is a real sweetheart. I love the energy in her. While talking to another friend yesterday ,who's been going through a bad phase in  life , I tried to advice her/ him  but in vain. No amount of  consolation worked for him/ her. He/she seemed in a self pity mood. At such a time if you don't take stock of things, you loose a friend for ever. According to him/ her , he/she is surrounded by selfish people. Well in that case ,aren't we all ? Is it so difficult to distinguish between a friend and a foe ?  for me no, but I don't know about others. Making friends is easy but preserving a friendship is very difficult. We must learn to value friendship. My father says, living with regrets is like driving a car which moves only in reverse.

     If good times don't last ,then so do the bad times. One must learn to take things in their stride. Live a 'regret free' life. It's all a learning experience. Like all human beings I too must have gone wrong at times, but then I never regret, as I have learnt to take responsibility for my actions.

Saturday, 30 July 2011

Unconditional Love

       I was in a dilemma as to what should be the title of my next blog. Ideas and thoughts kept flashing in front of me. Then one fine day I chanced upon the term 'Unconditional Love'. Oh yes, this sounded interesting and there and then I decided that this would be my next blog. So here I am l talking  about Love - Unconditional Love.
       We live in a society that speaks openly about the negatives and treats the positives as forbidden. We are allowed to complain and crib publicly but not to discuss our successes. Its okay to say, ''I wish I was beautiful" but its considered 'bragging' to say "I am beautiful". Its unthinkable to tell people that you are gifted or that your children are wonderful or that you have a wonderful love life and that your spouse loves you unconditionally. We are taught that sharing good things about ourselves with others is 'bragging', which is socially inappropriate. 'Good' here is considered a taboo.
       We all want to be loved. We long for love and will go to any length to have it in our lives. Unconditional love - the forever kind of love of dreams and fairy tales - can only become real when we set it free from expectations and limitations. Unconditional love is love without conditions, love without any encumbrances. Our expectations of love limit it. The conditions we put on it stops its flow. Unconditional love is something which is often elusive. It is also something that people mistakenly believe they feel until something comes along that happens to be the condition on which their love fails. Incidentally, unconditional love is very rare in romantic relationships. It is however very common in healthy family relationships. Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of the loved one's qualities or actions. The paragon of unconditional love is a mother's love for her baby. Perhaps our pets' love for us is the best example of unconditional love.
       I feel if you really want to experience great love or 'Big Love' as some like to call it, get rid of any notions you might hold about how love should be. Allow love to show up on its own terms in its own sweet and simple way. Try to remain open and flexible. Holding someone to a roster of expectations will dampen their ardor faster than a bucket of cold water. I believe, there's only one kind of love that can fill us up, make us whole and give us happiness. We all need to be loved. We think about it, hope for it, fantasize about it and go to great lengths to achieve it. To quote Deepak Chopra from 'Ageless Body, Timeless Mind' - Love is considered the most basic emotion that human awareness can feel; therefore, it is closest to the source of life. The burst of well-being that you feel when you fall in love is due to the fact that you unconsciously open the channel of awareness that allow more Prana (life force) to flow.
       Isn't it funny, we expect and demand someone to give us what we are not willing to give - 'Unconditional Love'. If unconditional love is showing support for one person then does it have to do something with self-sacrifice too?

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Happiness Galore

         Happiness to me is like a tequilla shot - hits you instantly and gives you a fiery pleasure.It is effervescent and ranges from contentment to intense joy. Barbara de Angelis says - 'No one is in control of your happiness but you. Therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change'. Do things that make you happy and bring out the best in you. Happiness is like a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you - said Nathaniel Hawthorne.
         Happiness to me is meeting an old friend, talking endlessly and catching up on all the years, or spending a relaxed day with family at home and simply lazying around with dishevelled hair, or listening to my favourite songs and humming along. I feel happy when I watch the raindrops falling on my window. Its so beautiful to sit and admire the rain from my verandah sipping a cup of hot tea. Its sheer happiness to go on a long drive when its raining and then to stop over at a roadside dhaba and again sip tea with the rain drops trickling in through the roof of the dhaba. Happiness usually comes through small little things. It comes when joy is at its peak and it tickles the pleasure. There is a little connection between happiness and pleasure - sometimes one evokes the other. I think pleasure has got to do with the senses, where as happiness is independent of them.
         Take a simple example of smoking - you may smoke, because it gives you pleasure. But it surely does not make you happier. There is an endless race to achieve happiness. Lucky are the people who can experience this feeling. Happiness is all around us. But people are afraid to experience it at times as they believe that happiness is always followed by unhappiness. Change is the law of nature and whenever there is a change we experience some unhappiness. So to avoid disappointment in the form of unhappiness we must be little detached from materialistic comforts. To experience happiness, which is inherent to our souls, we must make our mind calm and relaxed. Happiness is always within us - only that it is covered and  hidden. Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness. So be happy and spread happiness.
         Just ask yourself - Am I happy? If not, then what do I need to do to be happy.

.        Take a happiness test here.